Is It Worth It?

I hang on every word you said and
No one could get inside my head like you
Then I guess I was a fool for you then
But now I understand
It was all part off your plan
And you should know that
You taught me what it was
To feel the sting of love
To feel like I don't ever wanna let somebody ever get that close to me again
I learned so much from you
Things I'd never do
now that we're apart
You taught me how to break a heart
Dear God if you can hear me know
please stop the anger building up inside me
I need you to come and guide me
I look into the eyes
Of the one I thought was mine
And my only scream is
 

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My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

Cry.....

I was here
You were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on
And on ....
And on ....

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When you lower me down
So deep that I, I can't get out
When you're lost, lost and alone
Yes you'd think it was the last place you'd come back for more
If you don't want me to leave then don't push me away
Rather blow out the lights you can watch it all fade
But I'm going nowhere
I'm gonna stay
When you just wanna fight
When you're closing your eyes
'cause you don't wanna love me
I'm gonna stay
You can't push me too far
There's no space in my heart
Where I don't wanna love you
When there's no, no storm
Then how can I feel the calm?
If there's nothing, nothing, nothing left to lose
Then what is this feeling that keeps on bringing me back to you?
If you asked me to leave and I walked away
We'd still be alone and we'd still be afraid.
I'm going nowhere,
I'm going nowhere.

Life ... Good

gw berusaha untuk melampiaskan ke-engga-jelas-an gw ke blog tapi selalu gagal. mungkin saat ini adalah saat yang tepat.

gw lagi capek bgt sama sekolah. niat gw pergi ke sekolah skg cuma 35%. emang sih setiap hari gw di sekolah tapi srius jiwa gw jarang bgt ada di sekolah. temen-temen deket gw pasti sadar. rasanya susah bgt buat bangkitin niat belajar secara teratur dan rajin, kayak dulu. bukannya sombong tapi dibandingkan dengan yang lalu, I was better than today.

semuanya gw rasain semenjak.. ya taulah. some of my friends said "mut you deserve better, he's not worth it." thanks guys I appreciated all of your advices. BUT cuma gw yang tau apa rasanya. ibaratanya kayak sekenceng-kencengnya orang neriakin gw tetep aja gw berdiri di tempat.

'cause he gave me something

semua orang pasti sering ngerasain kalo "hidup itu gak adil." lawl yeaaa emang seharusnya kita sebagai manusia gak boleh sedikit pun mikir kayak gitu, karena Allah selalu tau apa yang terbaik buat kita. but most of the times, I just cant accept the truth. rasanya berat untuk menatap ke depan disaat lo masih stuck di tempat. 

tinggal tunggu waktu supaya gw bisa berubah. gw yakin kalo gw bisa. dan gw tambah yakin kalo semua usaha gw akan terbantu kalo gw pindah. semacam mengasingkan diri. who doesn't like to be all alone?

whoever read this, please, don't judge me. kalian pasti ngerti seberapa susahnya punya beban hidup tetapi kalian gak punya temen buat cerita.